I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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