I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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