I am puke
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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