either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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