some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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