i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize