I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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