I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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