you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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