My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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