You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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