In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
someone owes me an orgasm
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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