I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's blow job season.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dick very happy bro
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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