whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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