Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize