she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
COCAINE IS GR8
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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