I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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