exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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