I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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