I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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