tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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