Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize