yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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Come share oat with me in your robe
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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