So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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