omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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