Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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