My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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