Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize