Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got inside last night via doggy door
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize