Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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