he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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