seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
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My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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