i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize