Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize