Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize