I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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