clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize