Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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