I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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