It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize