some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
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You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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