when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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