somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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