he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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