I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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