I'm gonna have a badass scar
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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