the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
should my penis look like a turkey
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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