i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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