Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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