party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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